I’ve been thinking a lot about success lately.
It means something different for everyone. For me, I’m not quite sure how I would define it, but I do know I haven’t been feeling it lately.
The last race I ran was horrible, and I seem to be only getting slower (if that’s even possible, ha!). My apartment hasn’t been cleaned in weeks. Everyday when I leave work and head home, I feel unaccomplished……like if I had just focused a little more I could have done much more with my eight hours in the office. I haven’t been writing much, and I honestly have no idea what my next career move will be come December. I feel very stalled, like I’m not going anywhere.
I constantly feel stuck between two views of how to live life to the fullest:
“Life is short, so dream big, take advantage of opportunities, do what you love”…. in essence, do do do.
But in some ways, on the other hand, although not guaranteed, life can be long…so…
“Cherish what you have, for you will come to miss this.” In essence, slow down, enjoy the here and now, and don’t be in such a hurry to get to the next step.
I find value in both of these thoughts, and I try to remember them when I feel blah and anxious. However, they do conflict, don’t they? How can you always be dreaming big and doing, while also slowing down and enjoying what you have now? It’s tough to find a balance, and I guess that’s where I am —finding happiness between the reaching for more and the thankful for now.
But there is one part of my day that I neither feel anxious nor unsuccessful about…. where I feel I am enough.